Just because people are listening doesn't mean
they've understood what you're trying to say.
What Your Arrival Means to the Room
I've hosted enough rock concerts to know that having a microphone doesn't automatically mean people want to hear what you have to say.
Nobody bought a ticket to see me. They came for the artist. Some had queued for hours, standing in crowded venues, excited and impatient. Then I walked onto the stage, potentially becoming another delay between them and the person they'd paid to see.
My job wasn't to make the evening about me. It was to understand the audience, recognise how they were feeling and build their anticipation. If I'd done my job properly, the biggest applause would go to somebody else. And that was exactly how it should be.
The same thing happens in boardrooms and business meetings. A CEO may have the authority to speak, and an expert may have the credentials to command attention. But everyone listening has their own expectations, concerns and reasons for being there.
Having the microphone guarantees you can be heard. It doesn't guarantee you'll be understood.
The Difference Between Attention and Understanding
I recently came across a Forbes article by Shep Hyken, discussing Kevin Desrosiers' book How to Command the Room. It explored the importance of knowing your audience, having a clear purpose and being able to adjust when things aren't going as expected.
Having spent decades working in broadcasting, on stage, in corporate training and mentoring, I've learnt that understanding an audience is often more difficult than speaking to one.
Think about a CEO announcing major changes to a company. Some employees may welcome the news, while others are already wondering what it means for their jobs. Everyone hears the same announcement, but they don't necessarily take away the same message.
I've also learnt never to assume that a quiet room is a happy room. People might be listening carefully, feeling confused or simply unwilling to question someone in authority. Silence doesn't tell you which.
And when someone does challenge you, it's tempting to explain yourself again. But sometimes the problem isn't that they haven't understood your words. It's that you haven't understood their concerns.
That's the part of communication we often overlook. We spend so much time thinking about what we want to say that we forget to consider what the other person is actually hearing.
When Your Message Leaves the Room
One of the biggest challenges in communication is getting people to understand something that makes perfect sense to you.
You've spent years building your experience. You know what you mean and why it matters. But the person listening doesn't have those years of knowledge to draw from. They're hearing your message through their own experiences, priorities and expectations.
I've seen this happen with people who are brilliant at what they do but struggle to explain their value to someone outside their industry. Their expertise isn't the problem. It's the gap between what they know and what others understand.
I once watched an artist whose music I loved. The performance was excellent, and all the hits were there. But there was so little connection with the audience that I left wondering whether it would have made any difference if we hadn't been there.
It reminded me that even a brilliant performance can leave people feeling disconnected.
