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How to Be the Most Powerful Person in Any Room

Dec 01, 2025
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Power comes from flexibility, connection and presence. Not ego.

 

📌 In This Issue:

  • The real source of power in any high level room
  • Why flexible leaders rise faster than loud ones
  • A billion dollar leadership lesson you can use this week

 


The Hidden Power of Flexibility

 

There is a quote I love.

The most powerful person in any room is the most flexible one.

 

Not the richest.
Not the loudest.
The one who builds real relationships.

Flexible leaders make regular deposits in what psychologists call the emotional bank account. They listen. They remember names. They make people feel seen.

Dale Carnegie wrote about presidents who remembered every cleaner, soldier and waiter they met. That tiny act of respect created loyalty.

I have seen the same throughout my career. 
I have been hired by people I have never met because someone they trust said, you need to talk to Dave.

That is influence through proximity, not ego.

Think of Kevin Bacon and the six degrees idea. He is not known for being the greatest actor. He is known for being connected.

Your career works the same way.

Every major step I have taken, including joining the BBC, leaving the BBC, moving overseas, landing in Dubai, hosting the Rugby Sevens and speaking at Davos, came from a ripple effect that started with a simple conversation.

People think chatting to strangers is a waste of time. It is not.
Those tiny moments become opportunities.
Those opportunities become careers.

If you want to buid the kind of influence that gets you recommended behind closed doors, I run a 1:1 mentoring program where we develop your presence, clarity and leadership voice.
👉🏾 Apply for the Industry Icon Program

 

Why Real Leaders Do Not Try To Be The Best At Everything

Most leaders fall into the same trap.
They try to outwork, outsmart or outshine everyone around them

It never works. 

Look at football.
The captain is rarely the most talented player on the pitch.
Yet everyone follows him.

Why.
Respect.

He understands his team and brings out their strengths.
That is servant leadership.

For 20 years hosting the Dubai Rugby Sevens, I saw this dynamic again and again.
75% of my crew stayed with me for 2 decades.
Not because I was the star.
But because I made them the stars.

I trusted them.
I gave them ownership.
I let them shine.

That is what makes people rise with you, not in spite of you.

The opposite is the business that hires a so called rock star chief executive.
They get the short term boost and a long term collapse.
Ego doesn't build continuity.
Ego builds dependency.

If you want a thriving organisation, you build a tribe, not a fan club.

A tribe has elders who know the culture, braves who chase ideas, shamans who protect the philosophy, youngsters who bring energy, and heretics who challenge assumptions. This is exactly how Seth Godin describes real tribes.

Your job is not to dominate the room.
Your job is to guide the conversations inside it. 

You crowdsource wisdom.
You lift people.
You become the person everyone wants to work with.

That is real power.

 

Leave People Better Off Than You Found Them

Influence begins with how you treat people.

When I trained with the Referral Institute, they taught me something simple and unforgettable. 
People only refer you when they trust you, like you and genuinely believe you care about others.

That is real influence.
It's not about being impressive.
It's about being useful. 

Every time you meet someone, your job is to learn their WiFi code.
What matters to them.
What they need.
How you can make their life easier.

When you do that, people warm to you fast.
They help you because you helped them.
It's human nature.

 

This idea sits at the heart of Robert Cialdini's work on influence.
People respond to generosity.
People respond to clarity.
People respond to feeling valued.

Leave every person better than you found them.
Create value long before you ever need anything from them.
Your reputation will travel further than your business card.

That is the identity of a Thought Leader.
Not someone who demands attention.
Someone who elevates the room simply by walking into it. 

 

How One Decision Turned Her Into A Billion Dollar Leader

A few years ago, a young sales manager came to me overwhelmed and burnt out. 
She was working in a failing start-up.
Salaries were late.
Her boss crushed her confidence.
She stayed late every night with no appreciation.

She cared about the product.
But the culture was destroying her.

She joined my community and we spoke.
I gave her the truth.

If you cannot speak up then you need to leave.
Your time is worth far more than this.


She listened.
She left.

And everything changed almost immediately.

A major company headhunted her.
Not for a small role.
For a leadership position inside a billion dollar organisation.

Today, she leads her own task force.
She hires her own team.
She brings clarity, courage and calm authority into every room.

She stepped into her power without ego.
She protects her people.
She lifts them.
She makes people feel safe.
And they follow her because she leads from strength rather than fear.

Leadership is never about noise.
It's about clarity.
It's about self-respect.
It's also about knowing when to say enough.

Her transformation wasn't luck.
It was belief.

 

2 Leadership Tactics You Can Use This Week

Every insight becomes more powerful when you turn it into action.
These simple habits will help you lead smarter people with more clarity and confidence this week.

Here are 2 that make an immediate difference.

  1. The Iceberg Scan
    Most people show only a small part of themselves.
    Great leaders read the rest. 
    Before any conversation, pause and ask yourself what might be happening under the surface.
    You will notice tension, potential and hidden opportunity faster than anyone else.
    This single habit will change how you guide every room you enter.

  2. The Spotlight Switch
    Leaders earn loyalty when they lift others.
    Choose one person each week and highlight their win, their effort or their progress.
    Recognition makes people rise.
    And when people rise, they carry you with them.

 

I have 3 more leadership tactics that complete this set.
I only share them with subscribers.
If you're not on the list, now is the time to join us.

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